I only kidnapped one of them. chill
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
we're so committed to being not committed
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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