hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Shitshow foam night was such a success
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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