I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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