Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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