Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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