Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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