and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
