Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
