I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
