i need an iv and a liver transplant
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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