Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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