i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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