the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
