dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
