Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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