I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
