did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
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