Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
