I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
