What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
