I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
