Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
