so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
