Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
