I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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