you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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