So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Redeem this text for a blowjob
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
