did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Randomize
