things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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