I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
