Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I am midnight drunk by noon
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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