trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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