Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Randomize
