I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
