you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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