no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
