After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Im just a social blackout drinker.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
