At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
