you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
