My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
