weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
