Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
