To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
