we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
