found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
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