is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
