About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Randomize
