Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
