shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
