She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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