god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
