he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
