I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
