I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
