i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
