I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
