just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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