O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
